I am a black African American woman that has been learning about marine spirits over the internet, mainly through YouTube and Googling the term. After doing my research, I am concerned that I may have been influenced by these spirits. Let me tell you my story.
First of all I was born in a city by a river and a great lake. The city's name means ‘river of life’. As a child, I was sexually molested by my dad’s friend, and being very cautious, I was successful in avoiding any further molestations, but I recalled proclaiming that I would never allow that to happen to me again, and that no man would control my life. I was very confused about the man that molested me because prior to the molestations, I was very fond of him. Our birthdays were 1 day apart and we would celebrate our birthdays together and he spoke very highly of me to my parents who were clueless about what happened. I was too afraid to tell them because I thought it would break up their friendship. Our families were really close and we were raised alongside their kids. As a child I was very sensitive and suffered from nightmares and people wanting to bully and beat me (almost always a boy). My parents shielded me a lot, but it still didn’t stop someone from violating me right under their nose.
When I became a teenager, many teenage boys pursued me, but I rejected them and would not have any intimate contact with them at all. I felt the power that I had because I would not yield to the temptations, and somehow it became perverted. I remember driving to the river as a teen late at night. I loved to go when it was foggy and I felt peace there. I would throw rocks in the river and listen for the plop of the rock hitting the water through the dense fog. As years went by I would bring my boyfriends there at night in the fog and remark that this was my favorite thing to do. In my early and mid twenties, many exemplary men approached me and wanted to marry me, but I could not commit even though I would tell them I loved them (which I meant). I recall my pastor saying that all the single men that come to the church inquire about you and you only. He asked me why I would not marry the guy I was dating but I had no answer for him. I retained my virginity for quite some time, and when I fell into fornication, the young man cried and begged me to marry him but I could not bring myself to marry. He even repented to my parents, professing that I was the only woman he loved, and to this day is he has never married but professes that he has only loved me. Years went by and I turned down over 10 engagement rings. I was starting to realize that something was wrong with me.
Over the years, I have run across several witches and demonically possessed people. The church that I attended was a deliverance ministry and I was active in the street outreach ministry. We delivered many people in their homes. People involved in witchcraft would be drawn to me and they would tell me I had many angels around me and that I was strong in the spirit. At first it intrigued me but then I came to resent it because it would bring them to me.
I have been sexually assaulted four times since I was a child, including by the man I married. All of the men assaulted me because I did not want to sleep with them. I did not call the police because I did not want to be bothered. I had moved from my home town, and to the city. Two months later I met my ex-husband that convinced me to allow him to come over my apartment where he assaulted me. After the incident I went into a deep depression, and having remembered going thru a purity ceremony where I wore all white and vowed to stay pure until marriage and allow God to be my husband until then, I did not want to break my vow so I reluctantly married him. He was a street man. Although he worked and took care of me, he was a drug addict and would leave for days on drug binges. He would never allow his seed to go in me, and although as a child I said I wanted many children, I came to not want kids, and he didn’t want any either. After attending a Christian drug rehab program for several month’s he came home and we conceived our son. Things were awesome at first but then they got really bad. He loved his son but he kept going back to drugs. We had a nice home and new car but we ran into financial problems due to his addictions. I borrowed several times from my family and he from his. My mom finally said she had no more to give us but asked my brother to help. My brother who is a minister said he would only pay for me to come home. So reluctantly I left everything to come back to my parents home. I did not have confidence in the love I’d learned to have for my husband or the hope that he would overcome his drug addiction. I would tell him I hated him and wished he would die. He would say that I was not loving him enough even though I would try to do everything to please him. We would argue and our baby would get upset over it. We went to counseling and he told the counselor that he would never change and that he wanted his own separate life. The counselor advised me to leave him because he was not willing to work on the relationship and we were inevitably divorced. I do however regret leaving him alone and taking his son to another state. I wonder if that was the only choice I had. However, he was slowly separating from me and his son and wanted to party and hang out with his friends. Drug dealers were coming to our home to get their money, and having a young baby, I could not risk staying there.
My ex-husband is French Creole. The Creole people of Louisiana are known to practice witchcraft, and he told me that his mother used witchcraft to keep his father. When we divorced he was very angry with me, and he said he would pay a witchdoctor in Louisiana to kill me. After 6 years, he will not talk much to me and when he does he uses very abusive language. He does not talk to our son.
After my divorce I got involved with a man from Haiti. I fell into intimate sin with him briefly, but fought my way out of it. He hid it from me, but I later learned that he was heavily into witchcraft, and used charms, dolls, and mediums. He would know my past and every move without me telling him. He began to tell me that he saw a lot of water around me and that wasn’t good. I had a lot of blue décor in my apartment and he would ask why do you like blue? He told me about mermaids and sea spirits and said they were real. I just thought that he was primitive and didn’t think much of it. Somedays he would tell me not to drink water. I cut him off because he became very obsessed with me and I knew that what he was saying was not from God. He too told me that there were lots of angels around me.
After him, every man that approached me was extremely perverted, had filthy mouths and was into Indecency. Doctor’s had to surgically remove blockages in my uterus, and they say that my hormones are low which indicate that I may never have kids. Men want to date me and immediately speak filthy to me, and I am back at square one not wanting to marry them, but now I can say that I would like to marry someone and perhaps have another kid for the first time in my life. I used to be embarrassed and ashamed of love and could not admit that I was in love to my parents and friends. I realize that this spirit that has been on me has wasted half my life and I would like to be free. Please pray that I am totally delivered.
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