Our sexual actions should be directed to our spouse for his or her benefit and pleasure.
-Sex is a chance to give ourselves to our spouse in a uniquely loving and intimate way.
-Each specific type of sexual activity must be of loving intent & action.
-During sexual union, male climax must occur during normal sexual intercourse (it has to be open to the possibility of fertility).
Our bodies reveal the core truth about the human person: we are made to give ourselves in love. This intimate, sexual union of man & woman (becoming "one flesh") is a reflection, a visible sign, of the invisible mystery of God — the deep union and endless self-giving love within the Trinity.
Of course, God is not sexual. But God is at heart a communion of Persons, an exchange of Love.
We are made in the image & likeness of God. He chose to create the sexual nature of our bodies as the expression of his own inner life of communion.
This means that how we live in our bodies matters tremendously.
Our views of, and choices in, sexuality have the power to orient us properly toward life in Christ, or toward something else.
Christian sex must be oriented to Christ!e
When it comes to sex, most married Christians just do what works for them. If they have been blessed enough to have discovered something that brings satisfaction, pleasure, closeness, and climax, they most likely will continue that practice. However, some are plagued with guilt because they wonder if what they're doing is sinful.
Marriage Partnership receives many, many questions from Christian couples who want to know what is and what is not okay to do sexually. Unfortunately, churches tend to ignore this issue, small groups usually don't talk about sex, and most Christian books deal with more "spiritual" ideas.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a list of sexual practices categorized by "sinful" or "okay"? Is there such a list? Would everyone agree with the list? Is there a solution to this dilemma?
We think the answers to those questions are: yes, no, no, and probably not—in that order. We'd really like to create such a list that could settle once and forever the niggling doubts about sexual practices. But that's not possible. Different communities of Christians have different understandings about sexual practices that are based on a few general biblical principles. No list would be accepted by all Christians. Still, we do want to provide some guidelines that we hope will help you enjoy the gift of your sexuality to the fullest. That's what we're convinced God wants for each of his children.
We doubt that God's surprised by the intensity of our sexual desire or of its fulfillment. Seeing us enjoy the passion and pleasure seems to fit with his creative nature. There are some definite boundaries, however, that were identified through his Word. These are established to protect and enhance the maximum enjoyment of the gift. We think it's like our giving our kids bicycles. We'd teach them the safety rules right away so they could delight in the ride without being run over by a car on a busy street.
First, we'd like to point out the obvious—the Bible is not a manual on sexual technique. We've heard some people say that Song of Solomon describes acceptable sexual positions and behavior. We see it as a poetic love song that clearly embraces the joy of sexual play. We don't think it is an attempt to outline any specific sexual practices.
Second, we want to emphasize again that there are some specific sexual behaviors that are forbidden in scriptures. Adultery, that is having sexual intercourse with another person's spouse or a partner other than your own spouse, is a sin. Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, deepens the importance of marital faithfulness by extending the prohibition of infidelity to include a lustful thought life as well as the physical act of intercourse. Looking into our minds and hearts is an important principle for safeguarding the delights of intimacy.
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